Hard Days

Disclaimer:  This post will be purposely vague.  I am going through something right now that can't be shared publicly in cyberspace.  But it's so hard.  And I feel so alone.  And I can't explain.  But I need to share... vaguely.  I'm sorry.

Some of you know what it is.  I wish I could tell you all.  No one is sick.  We all will survive it.  And our family is united.  But there is no end in sight.  And I feel weak.  And the tears flow often.  And I can't wait until it's a distant memory.

One of my friends on Facebook recently made a post that said this... "Trying to live in knowing that everything is (God's) plan A even when it's our plan B."  That's what I am trying to do.  Trying to trust Him.  But I am weary.  I wonder when will I have learned enough.  I keep thinking that when this is all sorted out, I will be relieved that it worked out the way it did.  You know, like that guy you thought was the "love of your life" was really a bullet you dodged.


And I realize that I don't want anyone else's problems.  I know that LOTS of people are going through harder things.  Lots of people that I know and love.  I am just weary.  I am trying not to murmur.  Trying not to lose faith.  I've always been the one that totally believed everything always works out.  For the best.  But as time goes on, silver lining is hard to find.

The draft of a post about when Andy was in Tucson and we were miserable, when things were chaotic with wondering if the purchase would go through.  This post is truth.  Vague, because it had to be.  But truth.  And we got through it.  Thank goodness...