Motherhood- The Greatest Job (A Late Mother's Day Post)

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers I know. Sisters and Sisters in-law. My mom. Andy's mom. Our grandmothers. Women I have known in all the places we have called home. Your examples and influence have been powerful for me. Did you know that when Mother's Day was founded, they purposely put the apostrophe where it is to note that the day was for each INDIVIDUAL mother? Below are some powerful thoughts on this sometimes thankless, neverending, touching, and sacred job we have. I know that we are agents for God when we train up our children to become compassionate, responsible, and independent adults.

I type this as my 2 year-old throws a temper tantrum in my lap... He hates me now, but will undoubtedly come seeking a magical healing Mommy kiss before too long. It isn't easy. But it is worth it... And I am grateful for the journey and for these little people that call me "Mom".



Motherhood is the greatest potential influence either for good or ill in human life. The mother's image is the first that stamps itself on the... young child's mind. It is her caress that first awakens a sense of security; her kiss, the first realization of affection; her sympathy and tenderness, the first assurance that there is love in the world. ~David O. McKay

For the mother is and must be, whether she knows it or not, the greatest, strongest and most lasting teacher her children have. ~Hannah Whitall Smith

No job can compete with the responsibility of shaping and molding a new human being. ~Dr. James Dobson

The most important work we will do is within the walls of our own homes. ~Harold B. Lee

One of the ways we can prepare to be in the family circle of God's household is to establish a home as nearly like his as we can. ~Barbara B. Smith

A true Mormon home is one where the Savior would love to linger and rest. ~David O. McKay (This one makes me smile... Hope my home can be that.)

Keep the fire of your testimony of the restored Gospel and your witness of our Redeemer burning so brightly that our children can warm their hands by the fire of your faith. ~Boyd K. Packer

You Take the Good, You Take the Bad...

So my sister Brittney is due to have her first baby this summer. She was telling me that it seems all around her are people that are very negative about children. And so she is trying to reconcile all this complaining with the excitement she has for the arrival of her first little one...

So I am not going to lie and say it's all rainbows and sweetness all the time. I mean, I have THREE boys, so that would be a blatant one. But I am going to see what I can do, with my 7 years of experience living with children- children I invited to come live here. LOL

There is not enough sleeping going on. Mostly not enough for me. There are messes that completely dumbfound me. I mean, does every bath have to result in a small lake in my bathroom? And what good is a napkin if it's been torn into 75 pieces? Does the toy that you want have to be at the absolute bottom of the toy box, so every other toy has to be dumped out? And must we all step in the blob of toothpaste that fell on the floor- on purpose??? There are sick days and visits to the doctor and emergency room. There is all the catering to their digestive systems-- buying groceries, cooking food, making them eat the healthy stuff, washing the dishes, changing diapers, wiping bums, etc. If I could cut that out, my day would be 150% longer. And boys and bathrooms, well, they just smell, no matter how often you clean them- and I mean boys AND bathrooms...

But there are the great things.
1. You see the world in a different way through their eyes. Who knew rocks could be beautiful? Who knew how much fun it would be to squirt eachother w/ squirt bottles? And we get to watch the excitement of their first time- at the carnival, at the zoo, at the movies, going camping. And there are science experiments that must be done, so you need a supply of balloons, straws, aluminum foil, etc.

2. They find the world extremely funny. They point out the silly things we do. It's fun to hassle people. They still think those jokes you have known for 25 years are funny. And they like to tell them again and again. They laugh at burps and stinkers. And the word "underwear" cracks everyone up.

3. They believe in the Believable. They believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny. They believe that God loves all of us, even when we are having a crummy day. They believe that Jesus is alive again and they believe that a prayer will find the missing keys, everytime. They remind us that cynicism really doesn't have a great pay-out. It only makes us suspicious of people's good intentions and causes us to miss out on joy.

4. They remind us that joy is very available to us. Toys in the cereal box and in Happy Meals. A good wrestle on the living room floor. A great episode of Phineus and Ferb. A flashlight with batteries. Singing a good revised version of "Jingle Bells" that includes a superhero or two.

5. They remind us that we can make mistakes and it isn't the end of the world. That you just need to apologize and then we are friends again.

6. They remind us that hugs, kisses, and words of affection aren't silly, in fact, they are vital. They should be an everyday, perhaps every hour occurence.

7. They teach us that new friends are everywhere. And you don't HAVE to know their names yet to enjoy their company.

8. They sleep sometimes. They cuddle sometimes.

9.They teach us that life is full of things to learn about. A. told me about momentum this morning. He is constantly wanting to learn about stuff. And G. unrolled an entire roll of toilet paper just to see how long it was. Luckily, I found him when he had almost rerolled the entire thing. :)

9. You get to enjoy stories with them. Those old fairy tales that everyone has to know. (I will admit that it has been a little weird making sure my boys are familiar with Cinderella and Snow White. It's part of our culture, but definitely NOT the movie they would choose first.) They love goodnight stories with Andy. And they love the library as much as I do. :)

10. You get to pass on those important lessons. Like the "Golden Rule". Like the one that says that the littlest kid that is the loudest about wanting a toy, will likewise be the quickest to put it down. That spitting and hitting are NOT OK. That being polite pays big dividends. That we are loyal in our family. That honesty is the best policy. That tomorrow is another day.

11. They think that kisses heal all wounds and that you know everything (at least for now).

12. They were with God not so long ago. So they bring a little bit of the Divine into my home. I especially feel this when they are little enough that I have to carry them everywhere.

13. I am a different person since they came. I am less selfish. I am more responsible. I am more patient and more understanding. I am pretty tough and know what to do in an emergency. I know what to do to cheer someone up. I am learning how to explain the world to them. I am more appreciative of the legacy that came before me and the sacrifices of my parents. I value a dollar more and I am more focused on the things that are really important. I am not working for me anymore. I am working for them- to create a life of constants, of security, of love. And I like the person I am becoming.

My mother inlaw told me that the greatest source of joy comes from our families. From their accomplishments, from the moments we share. I am already missing my boys, knowing that not far off is a day when it will be back to just Andy and I. When we will have to travel to see them. When we will talk to them on the phone, or probably Skype. When some of the magic of childhood has rubbed off. At least until little ones, that they invite to live with them, start the magic again. :)

So what would be on your list? Hmmmm?

ADDENDUM: I was watching the news about the bomber in Times Square with A. I apologized to him that he had to live in a world like this. Then I reflected on 9-11 and how many people were questioning how you could bring children into this world at this time. I purposely got pregnant w/ A. a few months after. And as scary as the world is, I would do it again. In a heartbeat. Because life wouldn't be worth it, without him. (And the ones that came after.) That I know. :)

Confessional

So Andy just got a new job. He has been working there for about a month and liking it. Good money. Good work environment. Only ONE job. Good benefits. And NO Saturdays!!!

But it's 2 hours away. And he is commuting and waking up at 3:30 a.m. So we are moving. And I am staring some things I dread right in the face...

1. I HATE calling people I don't know. Pizza place. Utility company. Owners of homes to look at to rent. Needless to say, everyday is full of dread. Andy comes home and asks me how many appointments I have to view homes and puts me on the spot. And today, I called a lady who was a friend of a friend. So yeah, she just rented out "a great home for a family". And I called too late. Because I have been putting it off. Stupid phobia.

2. I hate to pack. Hated it when I was leaving for college. Super excited about college, but the packing part, not so much. And I hate packing for trips. I look around all the stuff we have accumulated and I just don't even know where to start.

3. I hate cleaning. 'Nuf said.

4. Actually, more to say-- I hate cleaning what will be someone else's house, so I don't even get to enjoy it... And I will be moving to a clean house, but I am well-aware of how long it will be before I know where stuff is and don't have a mountain of boxes to unpack.

5. Oh, yeah, need to change my address w/ all the people that need it. So there will be more calling people I don't know.

6. I hate de-junking. Andy and I have had our worst fights debating the need to keep things based on their sentimental significance. So every time we move, the debate rages, and we argue. I am sentimental. He is not-- at all.

I generally hate change. So the transition stinks. I love getting settled. Can I just beam myself (and my family) past this part? Or pay someone to do it for me?

Now that I have stared my ridiculous personality down, I realize how ridiculous I am being. I am 35 yrs. old. I mean, come on. Ugh. Why can't I grow up enough that I can be organized, a natural de-junker, and a gal who doesn't get so tense just looking at a phone number?

As a side-note, I am trying to avoid thinking about all the people I am going to miss and think about all the new friends I will make. Because I LOVE making new friends. Silver-lining.

Back at it Again

Sorry if some of you have been waiting for my "Media-free Week" report. I will admit, there has been some catching up on Tivo, which BTW is one of the greatest inventions known to man. :)

Saturday night, we explained to the boys that we were not going to use screens for the week unless it was for business. (And to check to see if my nephew had been born yet.) The next morning, G. woke up at the crack of dawn and Andy suggested he watch a show. G. quickly said, "But I thought no screens, Dad." So I was impressed that given the chance, he stayed on track. Even though we didn't mean to tempt him!

When we got home from church, we played Uno as a family and luckily, already had a Johnson dinner planned. The boys had tons of fun with the cousins.

I have to say that the first few days were rather easy for the kids. Harder for me. I didn't even realize how much I rely on the computer. Online recipes, online banking, just checking in with my friends... So many moments I had to take a breath and find another way. And remind myself that I could post things on my blog sometime in the future. But I will admit, those old cookbooks are pretty inefficient! We played lots of games and read lots of books. We even made shrinky-dinks, remember those! I went to bed earlier and felt less rushed. Not sure I got more done though, because the media fast didn't really increase my motivation to get a ton done! LOL

A few days in, G. kept asking how much longer a week was and saying "Bishop Farley's idea isn't very fun..." But we got through it. G. has always needed me to entertain him, even when he was an infant, and since he can't read, he had to play more than A. Since the goal was family unity, we did use the internet for a project I have been meaning to do with G. for ages. He and I made a Superhero/Villain Alphabet book using google.com/images. Andy even joined in the fun, which was good because although I knew enough to come up with Charles Xavier for X, I needed help w/ Q, U, and Z. (Question, Underdog, and Zan from the Wonder twins...) And we ended up finding a picture of G. dressed up for "You" for Y. We had many to choose from! LOL (disclaimer: We did have to be careful when searching since it is amazing how inappropriate pictures can still pop up. Just in case you try this...)







2007- 2 yrs. old

I was amazed that we didn't have to do much to entertain the boys other than spend time with them, which we should do more of anyway. Who knew that throwing a ball with K. down the hallway would be so fun for him!?! So the week ended, and I have seen that my children have rediscovered their toys and have a greater balance in their lives. I had let them get pretty bad, going from one screen to another for entertainment, and trying to encourage them to do other things, but not liking to be the Bad Guy all the time. I think that we will do this when it gets out of balance again, though I will admit it was challenging.

Now the reason I chose the picture I did for this post is because of the absolutely best benefit. This picture shows how K. used to fall asleep at night. (Though wearing p.j.'s of course.) I hadn't won that "cry yourself to sleep" battle yet. And so, he and I would watch a show until he fell asleep every night. It was OK, because I learned this week that after getting the boys to bed, watching TV is EXACTLY what I want to do. Just veg, on the couch, seated. So I didn't mind, in fact, it was a perfect excuse. But when K. came up to me the first night and said, "Watch a show, Mommy," I had to tell him no. Had to. So we read 2 books each night, and put him in bed w/ his chosen blanket of the night and tucked him in like a big boy. And he did it. And now he does it every night. AWESOME!!! So if this was the only benefit, it was worth it to me. AWESOME!

I did feel bad for Andy because he was sick this week and just wanted to be sick and watch TV, but alas, he couldn't. I am glad to be back connected, but do have a new perspective. And I am grateful my kids do too. And I am glad I live in this time. What blessings we have. But we must still be wise stewards of our time. It is a never ending challenge to be balanced, but if our families are really the most important, they do deserve more time than the "Screens".

(Now, my brother asked about Koester's Mother Earth Experiment mentioned in the last post. When I was in ninth grade, my biology teacher made us carry around black trash bags to collect all our garbage for a week. We were only allowed to throw away toilet paper and feminine products. All food, pencil sharpenings, etc. went into the bag. Then we sorted through it on the last day to determine what part of our garbage was recyclable or biodegradable. I am not going to lie, it was smelly and gross. But it also changed how I think of throwing things "away" and has made me a little more aware of what I can use more wisely.)

Going Underground

That's how I feel about tomorrow... It feels like I am cutting myself off from the world.

Our bishop asked that all the members of our congregation go without TV and video games for the entire week of March 7-14th. He recommended that we consider including computer and texting, etc. The point is to increase our family unity. We are calling it a "Media Fast".

First off, let me say that I completely support everything our bishop says. I know that the Lord has given him stewardship over us and that he receives revelation that will bless our lives. Time and time again, he has said and done things that make me confident that he is in touch with our Heavenly Father. I know he cares about me and my family. And I think every family can definitely increase their family unity. It is amazing how you can be in the same room and really have nothing going on between you.

Andy and I are going to pin down the details tonight, but probably we are going without all entertainment that needs a screen. Goodbye TV, goodbye Wii, goodbye computer games, goodbye Facebook, blogs, and email...

I will admit, this is going to be hard for me. My sister-in law suggested that maybe it's good for our kids to realize that it will be hard for us, so they realize that we aren't doing it to punish them.

Yes, I do use TV to babysit my kids so I can get a shower and have no one underfoot so I can make dinner. Yes, I do use the internet for my news and the TV for my weather in the morning. I am not going to even know who wins the Oscars, because I can't watch it or check the internet for the results. I will miss my Facebook friends and frankly, the noise. Guess what friends, I hate quiet. Doesn't surprise you does it. LOL

I have heard that the first two days will be the worst. I anticipate that I will have to replace these activities with other ones, as any addict will tell you. So I have been brainstorming. I don't have money to entertain my kids, so I will have to use some creativity. My creativity. Hope I have enough. And enough patience to not lose it when someone tells me for the millionth time that they are bored.

I post this in blogland so you know, I will be far away for a week. You can call me, but I won't be checking in electronically. Sounds a little lonely, but I hope the benefits are great. I am going to feel out of it. I won't know about any recent earthquakes, terror attacks, the latest celebrity sightings or gossip... I guess as I think about it, that part doesn't sound so bad.

I am going to hunker down with my family, put on a happy face and see what life was like before people had Tivo, 400 channels, and immediate downloads. (I remember reading in a book once about a town set in the time when people were just starting to get TV's. They mentioned how you would walk down the street and you could see the blue glow coming from the front window and see the silhouettes of heads watching...)

I hope we have a lot of fun and I hope I am reminded how much I really do like these people that share my house. I hope we learn to not be quite so reliant on electronic entertainment. I know that will gain new perspective. (For those of you that took Freshman Biology with me, I am expecting the kind of enlightenment gained from Koester's Mother Earth experiment.)

But the week after, you'd better not call because I will be catching up on all my Tivo. ;) And you'd better all have new blogposts for me to read! Think of me at midnight...

How Do I Love Thee? And Thee? And Thee? And Thee?

So since Valentine's Day was on a Sunday, and we don't shop or spend money on the Sabbath, I needed a way to make the day special. Furthermore, I was looking for cheap fun.

I decided to cook a heart-shaped pizza and we drank homemade sparkling cider (one can of prepared frozen apple juice and one 2 liter of 7-up). We had raspberry sherbet, mostly so that Andy could eat it without worrying about his milk sensitive stomach. The thing that made the evening extra special was that we all ate by candle-light and toasted with our plastic cups. (This cool candle was a gift from one of my students back in the day.) K. was a little worried about it being too dark, so we ended up turning on a hall light to ease his concerns. A. and G. were full of compliments and toasts to me. They said it was the best day ever! So I think this will end up being one of those traditions that sticks. :) Always looking for those.

So who do I love? My sweet Andy. What a great friend and husband he is. :)

And my 3 boys. Who knew that I could handle THREE of them!?! But I can hardly imagine my life without them. They definitely keep me laughing and they maul me with hugs. Best Valentine's Day EVER!

The following are pictures of 4 year old G. He is getting so big and this was a Sunday a few weeks ago. He just looked great. The first picture is what he looks like when he's "put out". It took me a while to get him to look at the camera. He's funny that way. :)

I love the last one. I have said before he is my clever child. Just the other day, A. was chasing him through the house and G. dumped out a bag of toys to make a booby-trap. It would have been pretty effective had Andy not saved A. just in time. Clever, that boy... You can kind of see it in his eyes... lol

In the Laundry

NEVER, as a 14 year old girl could I ever imagined that today I would be doing loads of laundry that (I'm not exaggerating...) include 8 items decorated with Spiderman (with or without his many friends), 1 Scooby-Doo, 1 Mickey Mouse, 1 Kungfu Panda, 1 Star Wars, 1 Incredible Hulk, and 1 Buzz Lightyear. And that's just the Darks...