Backtracking

So many things have gone on this year that I haven't divulged on cyberspace because it wasn't the right time.  Family and local friends were aware, but there were things I couldn't even share on Facebook.  Months went by that I felt like I didn't have anything to "say" online.  But now, I'm comin' clean.

Back in January, Andy's office was flooded by a broken pipe.  There weren't enough dental chairs for him to use so the owners suggested he commute to Tucson~ a four hour drive from our home.  They had an office there that they were trying to find a dentist for, but they would let him work there instead until the repairs were complete.  They would pay for his hotel and his gas.  He would leave around 6:00 Sunday night and get home around midnight Thursday.  For a while, they had him work Fridays here to keep up with his local patients.

We were grateful for the job opportunity, mostly because we had been terrified they would just tell him he wouldn't be able to work until the repairs were done... And how long would that be?  But we also felt like we had little choice in the matter.  We had bills to pay.  

To be honest, both Andy and I were devastated about being apart.  We hoped it would be a month or so, but knew that we had no idea what we were really signing up for.  I cried off and on the entire week before they made all the arrangements for his commute.  I ached for my boys that would be without a dad all week long.  I complained internally that I was going to be a single parent and that everything would be my responsibility.  And Andy knew how horribly he would miss us.

After Andy was there for six weeks, he was asked if he would be willing to do it until June.  They didn't think they were going to be able to find anyone to hire permanently until the summer.  Why that was our problem, I don't really know.  Six months is a long time for a three year-old, so I was hoping that somehow we could finish before then.  (He worked there for 13 entire weeks and 2 half weeks before he quit his job with them.  The repairs were complete long before the end, but they couldn't find someone to replace him in Tucson.  A new guy started the last week.  The office manager thanked Andy on the last day because she said that the staff there wouldn't have had a job those many months had he not come.  My next post will explain our next adventure...)

Andy hated the monotony of a hotel room.  His body didn't do well eating fast or frozen food every night.  Andy's toe started going numb, probably from the long drives.  And I swear, there was a truckload of major projects that had to be squeezed into precious weekend hours...  a pinewood derby car, a science fair project, a poster about "me" for A...  When the boys came home from school and told me they could dress up for Dr. Suess Day, I laughed.  Not happening this year, boys.

Andy would come home on the weekends exhausted from driving.  He would have a thousand things to do around the house and try to give the boys some fun time.  I would mentally tick off how many hours were left before he had to leave again.

For the safety of my family, I didn't really want to tell everyone that I was home alone with three boys all week long.  So I couldn't reach out online for support.  I'll be honest... it was very lonely.  Luckily, we survived it.  And now, I can tell you.  Now that my family is together.  We are very happy about that.  :)

I am grateful for my Mom that would call every Sunday night to comfort me.  It was like she knew how much I needed her.  I am grateful for cell phones that I could call Andy every night.  I am grateful for prayer that would help me feel more safe, confident in myself, and our family feel more unified despite the miles that separated us.  I am grateful for sisters that would listen to me cry and complain on the phone, so many times.  I am grateful for friends that helped me mentally survive it.  It was truly one of the hardest things I have ever done.  And I don't want to ever do it again.

I'd Choose Him Every Time

engagement photo 1997

I met Andy at the first church activity freshman year at BYU.  I was asking boys to sign up for the ballroom dance class I was taking.  I was surprised that he said yes and actually signed up.  He was really careful not to dance with me too often, lest I would think he took the class because he was interested in me.  LOL  I got a B+ on the Cha Cha test that I danced with him.  My mom thought we should get married though because he was from Illinois where her family lives and we could have a reception out there.  I told her that was a silly reason to marry someone.  We were just friends, but I gave him a picture at the end of the year.  And he left on his mission.

Fast-forward a few years.  Andy was back.  We took a class together and I started crushing on him.  He went home for the summer and I hoped that having a newish car would give him reason to come around.  Then over the summer I got engaged to another guy.  And then when the new school year started, it started to unravel.  I was crushed.  I told my roommate that if it ended, the only one that could make me laugh again, feel good about myself again was Andy.  She told me that it sounded like I needed him now.  But I was engaged and it didn't seem right.  

So fast-forward through all that mess...  We got together a few months after I ended my engagement.  And married 8 months after that.  And he did make me laugh again (no surprise to anyone that knows Andy) and he did make me feel good about myself again.  And I'd choose him every time.

We have been through lots of jobs, lots of adventures (good and bad), four states, four cars, two apartments, four homes, three wiggly boys.  He's my best friend and we can still stay up too late talking.  He "gets" me like no one else.  He believes in me.  And no matter what we face, doing it together is the best part.  And he still makes me laugh.  And I'd choose him every time.  Happy Valentines' Day Andy.

P.S.  I scored the jackpot when I married into the Johnson family.  They are great people~ inspiring, loving people.  I appreciate all the time I get to share with them.  It's been the ultimate blessing to call them family and to have them spend time with our boys.

Motherhood- The Greatest Job (A Late Mother's Day Post)

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers I know. Sisters and Sisters in-law. My mom. Andy's mom. Our grandmothers. Women I have known in all the places we have called home. Your examples and influence have been powerful for me. Did you know that when Mother's Day was founded, they purposely put the apostrophe where it is to note that the day was for each INDIVIDUAL mother? Below are some powerful thoughts on this sometimes thankless, neverending, touching, and sacred job we have. I know that we are agents for God when we train up our children to become compassionate, responsible, and independent adults.

I type this as my 2 year-old throws a temper tantrum in my lap... He hates me now, but will undoubtedly come seeking a magical healing Mommy kiss before too long. It isn't easy. But it is worth it... And I am grateful for the journey and for these little people that call me "Mom".



Motherhood is the greatest potential influence either for good or ill in human life. The mother's image is the first that stamps itself on the... young child's mind. It is her caress that first awakens a sense of security; her kiss, the first realization of affection; her sympathy and tenderness, the first assurance that there is love in the world. ~David O. McKay

For the mother is and must be, whether she knows it or not, the greatest, strongest and most lasting teacher her children have. ~Hannah Whitall Smith

No job can compete with the responsibility of shaping and molding a new human being. ~Dr. James Dobson

The most important work we will do is within the walls of our own homes. ~Harold B. Lee

One of the ways we can prepare to be in the family circle of God's household is to establish a home as nearly like his as we can. ~Barbara B. Smith

A true Mormon home is one where the Savior would love to linger and rest. ~David O. McKay (This one makes me smile... Hope my home can be that.)

Keep the fire of your testimony of the restored Gospel and your witness of our Redeemer burning so brightly that our children can warm their hands by the fire of your faith. ~Boyd K. Packer

Thanks for the Donation

So I looked everywhere for a picture of my Uncle Benny and I am sorry to say that I don't have one that isn't a blurry one sent by Grandma T. from long ago. But I had to post about this...

My uncle has been on an oxygen tank for a while now and if you are picturing him a little old, feeble man, you are wrong. He is a hysterical, vibrant personality. That is the only way to describe him, "personality'. He has been on a lung transplant list and finally, on Wednesday, he got the call.

"The Call"-- the one that brings hope, comfort and happiness to my family, but somewhere, another family is feeling loss and sorrow. Hopefully, they can have some comfort in the fact that I am sure more than one family was blessed by the donation. And their loved one lives on in someway. Hopefully, they have a faith in life after this one. Where their loved one will see those that have gone before and dwell in the presence of God.

I have a greater desire to be an organ donor since my family has been blessed this way. I wish I could say "thank you" to the other family, but that seems so inadequate. I wish there were words in the English language that held more weight. Even my post title seems shallow. But because of you, my uncle can remain a vibrant personality. His wife, children, grandchildren, siblings, nieces, nephews and parents can laugh at another joke and share his smiles. So THANK YOU for that and I wish you peace and comfort as you part from your loved one. Know that we recognize the bittersweet moment this is.

And for all of us- Check to see what you need to do so you can be an organ donor. In my state, you have to send in some paperwork. But I have also heard that it is very important that your loved ones know of your wishes, so since you won't be here to say "yes", they will know.

And to Benny- Here's to a long life! Love you!