Backtracking

So many things have gone on this year that I haven't divulged on cyberspace because it wasn't the right time.  Family and local friends were aware, but there were things I couldn't even share on Facebook.  Months went by that I felt like I didn't have anything to "say" online.  But now, I'm comin' clean.

Back in January, Andy's office was flooded by a broken pipe.  There weren't enough dental chairs for him to use so the owners suggested he commute to Tucson~ a four hour drive from our home.  They had an office there that they were trying to find a dentist for, but they would let him work there instead until the repairs were complete.  They would pay for his hotel and his gas.  He would leave around 6:00 Sunday night and get home around midnight Thursday.  For a while, they had him work Fridays here to keep up with his local patients.

We were grateful for the job opportunity, mostly because we had been terrified they would just tell him he wouldn't be able to work until the repairs were done... And how long would that be?  But we also felt like we had little choice in the matter.  We had bills to pay.  

To be honest, both Andy and I were devastated about being apart.  We hoped it would be a month or so, but knew that we had no idea what we were really signing up for.  I cried off and on the entire week before they made all the arrangements for his commute.  I ached for my boys that would be without a dad all week long.  I complained internally that I was going to be a single parent and that everything would be my responsibility.  And Andy knew how horribly he would miss us.

After Andy was there for six weeks, he was asked if he would be willing to do it until June.  They didn't think they were going to be able to find anyone to hire permanently until the summer.  Why that was our problem, I don't really know.  Six months is a long time for a three year-old, so I was hoping that somehow we could finish before then.  (He worked there for 13 entire weeks and 2 half weeks before he quit his job with them.  The repairs were complete long before the end, but they couldn't find someone to replace him in Tucson.  A new guy started the last week.  The office manager thanked Andy on the last day because she said that the staff there wouldn't have had a job those many months had he not come.  My next post will explain our next adventure...)

Andy hated the monotony of a hotel room.  His body didn't do well eating fast or frozen food every night.  Andy's toe started going numb, probably from the long drives.  And I swear, there was a truckload of major projects that had to be squeezed into precious weekend hours...  a pinewood derby car, a science fair project, a poster about "me" for A...  When the boys came home from school and told me they could dress up for Dr. Suess Day, I laughed.  Not happening this year, boys.

Andy would come home on the weekends exhausted from driving.  He would have a thousand things to do around the house and try to give the boys some fun time.  I would mentally tick off how many hours were left before he had to leave again.

For the safety of my family, I didn't really want to tell everyone that I was home alone with three boys all week long.  So I couldn't reach out online for support.  I'll be honest... it was very lonely.  Luckily, we survived it.  And now, I can tell you.  Now that my family is together.  We are very happy about that.  :)

I am grateful for my Mom that would call every Sunday night to comfort me.  It was like she knew how much I needed her.  I am grateful for cell phones that I could call Andy every night.  I am grateful for prayer that would help me feel more safe, confident in myself, and our family feel more unified despite the miles that separated us.  I am grateful for sisters that would listen to me cry and complain on the phone, so many times.  I am grateful for friends that helped me mentally survive it.  It was truly one of the hardest things I have ever done.  And I don't want to ever do it again.

The Aftermath

Yes, that's what it looks like.  A box of peach jello.  A box of cherry jello.  A box of pistachio pudding.  A box of chocolate pudding.  And three (count them THREE) boxes of vanilla pudding.  

And this is the bowl that had all that powder mixed with water from the bathroom sink that was carried (dripping all the way, on tile at least) to the kitchen.

G. almost lost his life...  And there is a Mommy that needs to repent from thinking such horrible thoughts.

This is being recorded, not to embarrass G., but to record it for memory's sake.  And so I can remember to tell it to his future wife so she knows why her kids do similar things...  Because I wished it on their dad... ;)

So she won't feel like a horrible mother when she thinks impatient thoughts when it happens with her own kids.  Because stuff like this happens to all mothers.  And it isn't our finest hour.  

But, later on this day, G. went to a friend's house to be babysat while I took A. to get started on his Pinewood Derby car.  G. told me afterward that he saw some T-rated video games that looked really cool, but he didn't play them because he knew that it was against our family rules.  

So far, we haven't allowed any T games in our home.  Of course when G. was 3 and he LOVED Spiderman, we had a long-winded argument on the way home from Target when I wouldn't let him get a T-rated Spiderman game.  I told him that I wouldn't allow that in my house because it might have bad words.   (I had recently bought a Spiderman cartoon DVD that had some mild SWEAR words.  I was horrified!)  G. told me he liked swear words and I was so mean.  I couldn't believe I was having this conversation with my toddler!

I was so proud that G. had made a good choice even though no one was there to see him make it.  We talked about "integrity" on the way home.  Could this be the same child that had made "Jello/Pudding" water!?!  (And the babysitting mom said that the "T" he was talking about was the T for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, not the rating... lol)

One more story about G.:

He really wanted a red pencil to mark the scriptures we gave him for Christmas.  I wasn't sure what he would mark, but OK, sure.  The other day, we were looking at a verse that I thought would mean something to him. He pulled out his pencil and started marking words that he felt were important: Lord, commandments...  Then he underlines "children" and says "that's important, huh Mom?"  I was so touched that I got a little misty.  

He's such a great kid.  He just has crazy ideas sometimes.  LOL

Back at it Again

Sorry if some of you have been waiting for my "Media-free Week" report. I will admit, there has been some catching up on Tivo, which BTW is one of the greatest inventions known to man. :)

Saturday night, we explained to the boys that we were not going to use screens for the week unless it was for business. (And to check to see if my nephew had been born yet.) The next morning, G. woke up at the crack of dawn and Andy suggested he watch a show. G. quickly said, "But I thought no screens, Dad." So I was impressed that given the chance, he stayed on track. Even though we didn't mean to tempt him!

When we got home from church, we played Uno as a family and luckily, already had a Johnson dinner planned. The boys had tons of fun with the cousins.

I have to say that the first few days were rather easy for the kids. Harder for me. I didn't even realize how much I rely on the computer. Online recipes, online banking, just checking in with my friends... So many moments I had to take a breath and find another way. And remind myself that I could post things on my blog sometime in the future. But I will admit, those old cookbooks are pretty inefficient! We played lots of games and read lots of books. We even made shrinky-dinks, remember those! I went to bed earlier and felt less rushed. Not sure I got more done though, because the media fast didn't really increase my motivation to get a ton done! LOL

A few days in, G. kept asking how much longer a week was and saying "Bishop Farley's idea isn't very fun..." But we got through it. G. has always needed me to entertain him, even when he was an infant, and since he can't read, he had to play more than A. Since the goal was family unity, we did use the internet for a project I have been meaning to do with G. for ages. He and I made a Superhero/Villain Alphabet book using google.com/images. Andy even joined in the fun, which was good because although I knew enough to come up with Charles Xavier for X, I needed help w/ Q, U, and Z. (Question, Underdog, and Zan from the Wonder twins...) And we ended up finding a picture of G. dressed up for "You" for Y. We had many to choose from! LOL (disclaimer: We did have to be careful when searching since it is amazing how inappropriate pictures can still pop up. Just in case you try this...)







2007- 2 yrs. old

I was amazed that we didn't have to do much to entertain the boys other than spend time with them, which we should do more of anyway. Who knew that throwing a ball with K. down the hallway would be so fun for him!?! So the week ended, and I have seen that my children have rediscovered their toys and have a greater balance in their lives. I had let them get pretty bad, going from one screen to another for entertainment, and trying to encourage them to do other things, but not liking to be the Bad Guy all the time. I think that we will do this when it gets out of balance again, though I will admit it was challenging.

Now the reason I chose the picture I did for this post is because of the absolutely best benefit. This picture shows how K. used to fall asleep at night. (Though wearing p.j.'s of course.) I hadn't won that "cry yourself to sleep" battle yet. And so, he and I would watch a show until he fell asleep every night. It was OK, because I learned this week that after getting the boys to bed, watching TV is EXACTLY what I want to do. Just veg, on the couch, seated. So I didn't mind, in fact, it was a perfect excuse. But when K. came up to me the first night and said, "Watch a show, Mommy," I had to tell him no. Had to. So we read 2 books each night, and put him in bed w/ his chosen blanket of the night and tucked him in like a big boy. And he did it. And now he does it every night. AWESOME!!! So if this was the only benefit, it was worth it to me. AWESOME!

I did feel bad for Andy because he was sick this week and just wanted to be sick and watch TV, but alas, he couldn't. I am glad to be back connected, but do have a new perspective. And I am grateful my kids do too. And I am glad I live in this time. What blessings we have. But we must still be wise stewards of our time. It is a never ending challenge to be balanced, but if our families are really the most important, they do deserve more time than the "Screens".

(Now, my brother asked about Koester's Mother Earth Experiment mentioned in the last post. When I was in ninth grade, my biology teacher made us carry around black trash bags to collect all our garbage for a week. We were only allowed to throw away toilet paper and feminine products. All food, pencil sharpenings, etc. went into the bag. Then we sorted through it on the last day to determine what part of our garbage was recyclable or biodegradable. I am not going to lie, it was smelly and gross. But it also changed how I think of throwing things "away" and has made me a little more aware of what I can use more wisely.)

Christmas "Fun"?

Ever imagine how the Holidays would be without one of these??? My family had been having flu symptoms last week and we were relieved to call Aunt Charlotte and Aunt Anna to tell them we thought it was over so they could still spend the night on Christmas Eve. They came over for dinner but during dinner A. and I got sick. They decided not to risk getting sick right before an airplane trip to Illinois. So they left. G. was so sad and frankly, I was too. We had so much fun planned and memories to be made. But what could we do?

We were feeling a bit better in the morning and had fun with all our new loot. Thanks Santa! I served my family lunch meat sandwiches and chips for dinner. (I know, wonderful mother, but I was taking it easy.) Right after dinner, I pulled out the sausage I had planned to use the next morning for belated Christmas Breakfast Casserole. It felt strangely "not cold". I put in a meat thermometer which came to 50 degrees, right out of the fridge. I was horrified to simultanously realize I had just food poisoned my family and that the flu symptoms were not contagious. Then I realized I may have food poisoned the aunts! And how much money would it cost to replace all my food? This was just getting worse and worse...

I sent my family to bed with pots and buckets, just in case and prayed we would make it through the night. Andy was the only one that got sick, but he was down for the count for 2 days. Sick in bed, achy, cold, and symptoms that polite people do not discuss online...

I contacted my landlord. (One silver lining, it isn't my responsibility to fix the fridge.) The repairman came on Saturday. Bless him. At first he told me he couldn't find anything wrong.

(On a side note, I wish there was a class for lay people about things you should know about stuff. Like how a garage door works, how you should use your dishwasher every couple of weeks in Arizona or it dries out, and how a refrigerator cools.) I felt like a dope when he told me I had blocked the source of cold air that comes from the freezer. He told me the top shelf was probably warmer, but my pickles on the bottom felt cold. But then I told him about the thermometer the night before. He wanted to see the temp of my pickles. We checked, and on the coldest setting on my fridge, they were 43 degrees. Your fridge is supposed to be lower than 40 degrees. So glad I didn't just let him leave.

He took another look at my compressor which was only half working and told me that my freezer was probably not working that well either. But at least everything was still frozen, so I don't have to replace those things.

The warranty guy was off for the weekend and if my fridge wasn't under warranty, we needed a new fridge. Cheaper to buy a new one than fix it. Found out yesterday, we need a new one. So now I just have to survive until Wednesday. My wonderful landlord even offered to take some of my next month's rent to replace some of the food.

My dear friend Bonnie, who is a kindred fellow Washingtonian, loaned me her mini-fridge. Without it, I think I would have lost my mind by now.

So we had a crazy Christmas, one that will definitely be remembered. I am grateful for kind landlords, repairmen willing to come on the weekends, that my babies didn't throw-up too much, stores that are close, and that I actually live in a time where we have electricity and refrigerators. And I am grateful that we are almost at the end of this trial, because I am tired...