You Take the Good, You Take the Bad...

So my sister Brittney is due to have her first baby this summer. She was telling me that it seems all around her are people that are very negative about children. And so she is trying to reconcile all this complaining with the excitement she has for the arrival of her first little one...

So I am not going to lie and say it's all rainbows and sweetness all the time. I mean, I have THREE boys, so that would be a blatant one. But I am going to see what I can do, with my 7 years of experience living with children- children I invited to come live here. LOL

There is not enough sleeping going on. Mostly not enough for me. There are messes that completely dumbfound me. I mean, does every bath have to result in a small lake in my bathroom? And what good is a napkin if it's been torn into 75 pieces? Does the toy that you want have to be at the absolute bottom of the toy box, so every other toy has to be dumped out? And must we all step in the blob of toothpaste that fell on the floor- on purpose??? There are sick days and visits to the doctor and emergency room. There is all the catering to their digestive systems-- buying groceries, cooking food, making them eat the healthy stuff, washing the dishes, changing diapers, wiping bums, etc. If I could cut that out, my day would be 150% longer. And boys and bathrooms, well, they just smell, no matter how often you clean them- and I mean boys AND bathrooms...

But there are the great things.
1. You see the world in a different way through their eyes. Who knew rocks could be beautiful? Who knew how much fun it would be to squirt eachother w/ squirt bottles? And we get to watch the excitement of their first time- at the carnival, at the zoo, at the movies, going camping. And there are science experiments that must be done, so you need a supply of balloons, straws, aluminum foil, etc.

2. They find the world extremely funny. They point out the silly things we do. It's fun to hassle people. They still think those jokes you have known for 25 years are funny. And they like to tell them again and again. They laugh at burps and stinkers. And the word "underwear" cracks everyone up.

3. They believe in the Believable. They believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny. They believe that God loves all of us, even when we are having a crummy day. They believe that Jesus is alive again and they believe that a prayer will find the missing keys, everytime. They remind us that cynicism really doesn't have a great pay-out. It only makes us suspicious of people's good intentions and causes us to miss out on joy.

4. They remind us that joy is very available to us. Toys in the cereal box and in Happy Meals. A good wrestle on the living room floor. A great episode of Phineus and Ferb. A flashlight with batteries. Singing a good revised version of "Jingle Bells" that includes a superhero or two.

5. They remind us that we can make mistakes and it isn't the end of the world. That you just need to apologize and then we are friends again.

6. They remind us that hugs, kisses, and words of affection aren't silly, in fact, they are vital. They should be an everyday, perhaps every hour occurence.

7. They teach us that new friends are everywhere. And you don't HAVE to know their names yet to enjoy their company.

8. They sleep sometimes. They cuddle sometimes.

9.They teach us that life is full of things to learn about. A. told me about momentum this morning. He is constantly wanting to learn about stuff. And G. unrolled an entire roll of toilet paper just to see how long it was. Luckily, I found him when he had almost rerolled the entire thing. :)

9. You get to enjoy stories with them. Those old fairy tales that everyone has to know. (I will admit that it has been a little weird making sure my boys are familiar with Cinderella and Snow White. It's part of our culture, but definitely NOT the movie they would choose first.) They love goodnight stories with Andy. And they love the library as much as I do. :)

10. You get to pass on those important lessons. Like the "Golden Rule". Like the one that says that the littlest kid that is the loudest about wanting a toy, will likewise be the quickest to put it down. That spitting and hitting are NOT OK. That being polite pays big dividends. That we are loyal in our family. That honesty is the best policy. That tomorrow is another day.

11. They think that kisses heal all wounds and that you know everything (at least for now).

12. They were with God not so long ago. So they bring a little bit of the Divine into my home. I especially feel this when they are little enough that I have to carry them everywhere.

13. I am a different person since they came. I am less selfish. I am more responsible. I am more patient and more understanding. I am pretty tough and know what to do in an emergency. I know what to do to cheer someone up. I am learning how to explain the world to them. I am more appreciative of the legacy that came before me and the sacrifices of my parents. I value a dollar more and I am more focused on the things that are really important. I am not working for me anymore. I am working for them- to create a life of constants, of security, of love. And I like the person I am becoming.

My mother inlaw told me that the greatest source of joy comes from our families. From their accomplishments, from the moments we share. I am already missing my boys, knowing that not far off is a day when it will be back to just Andy and I. When we will have to travel to see them. When we will talk to them on the phone, or probably Skype. When some of the magic of childhood has rubbed off. At least until little ones, that they invite to live with them, start the magic again. :)

So what would be on your list? Hmmmm?

ADDENDUM: I was watching the news about the bomber in Times Square with A. I apologized to him that he had to live in a world like this. Then I reflected on 9-11 and how many people were questioning how you could bring children into this world at this time. I purposely got pregnant w/ A. a few months after. And as scary as the world is, I would do it again. In a heartbeat. Because life wouldn't be worth it, without him. (And the ones that came after.) That I know. :)